Sanity is overrated

January 23, 2007 at 10:49 am 9 comments

Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. After everyone’s kicked the caffeine habit, switch to espresso.

Skip instead of walk, whenever possible.

Five days before a party, tell the host you can’t come because you’re not in the mood.

When you order at the drive-thru, specify that you’d like your order “to go.”

Sing along at the opera.

Put your trash can on your desk and label it “In Box.”

Jump up and down excitedly when your money comes out of the ATM.

Ask your waiter for a diet water. Keep a straight face.

Over dinner, tell your children that due to the economy, you’re going to have to let one of them go.

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Entry filed under: fun, humor.

Snap it open In da howz, ya

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Suresh Gundappa  |  January 23, 2007 at 6:35 pm

    and while buying your undergarments in store make orgasmic sound loudly before you purchase! 🙂 one from my side to your collection!

    Reply
  • 2. Bice  |  January 24, 2007 at 12:36 am

    I love that last one! If I read this when my kids were still at home I can promise you they would have heard it. Hilarious!

    Reply
  • 3. icedmocha  |  January 24, 2007 at 8:05 am

    LOL Suresh. Good one.

    Bice – Yes! Isn’t it great? I am waiting for the right moment to spring it on mine.

    Reply
  • 4. Nicola  |  January 24, 2007 at 10:52 am

    Number two sounds disturbingly familiar – I wonder how long that has been around?

    Reply
  • 5. dailypiglet  |  January 25, 2007 at 12:16 am

    i love these 🙂

    Reply
  • 6. LindaC  |  January 25, 2007 at 11:30 am

    LOL. Loved the laugh. Diet water. LOL. When I go shopping I see people walking around talking and laughing out loud. There was a day we would have given them a wide berth. Not we glance over at the ear plug. heh..

    Reply
  • 7. fracas  |  January 25, 2007 at 3:58 pm

    Amazing how peoples’ lives are different. I like this one:

    “Over dinner, tell your children that due to the economy, you’re going to have to let one of them go.”

    Oh lol, I see Bice liked that one too. I guess we share a few things in common.

    Wait.. I like #2 also.

    Reply
  • 8. stjarna67  |  January 26, 2007 at 10:13 pm

    The classic sanity one was something I saw in a mass e-mailing….it was something like:

    Go into the changing rooms at Wal*Mart, wait until there are other people within earshot, then announce in a loud voice ‘THERE’S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!”

    Classic!

    Reply
  • 9. Gracie  |  January 28, 2007 at 2:33 am

    Priceless!

    Reply

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