Sanity is overrated
Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. After everyone’s kicked the caffeine habit, switch to espresso.
Skip instead of walk, whenever possible.
Five days before a party, tell the host you can’t come because you’re not in the mood.
When you order at the drive-thru, specify that you’d like your order “to go.”
Sing along at the opera.
Put your trash can on your desk and label it “In Box.”
Jump up and down excitedly when your money comes out of the ATM.
Ask your waiter for a diet water. Keep a straight face.
Over dinner, tell your children that due to the economy, you’re going to have to let one of them go.