Tequila Christmas Cookies

December 3, 2006 at 11:45 am 1 comment

Just in time for the holidays!

1 cup water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup lemon juice
4 eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Tequila

Sample the Tequila to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Tequila again, to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point it’s best to make sure the Tequila is still okay – try another cup…just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, pick the frigging fruit off floor, mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Tequila to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt…or something.
Who giveshz a sheet.

Check the Tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Tequila and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS

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Entry filed under: holidays, humor.

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. travelingmedicineshow  |  December 3, 2006 at 12:51 pm

    I can’t believe you got me. I often find things very funny but still don’t laugh out loud. I just read “Tequila Christmas Cookies” out loud to Hatbox Louie and my delivery was interrupted by frequent chortles, guffaws, titters, and other synonyms presented to make myself seem smart. But, truly a great post. I will send it along. Dr. Nostrum
    (P.S. I apologize for any typos, but I just got into the jagerbiscuits).

    Reply

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